Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The Girls

Oh, ya'll.  Sometimes it's hard being a momma bear.  
{Vanessa Redgrave with her daughters} 

My heartbreak has officially begun.  Stella's fast and furious friends at school are Sophie, Piper, and Brooke.  In a week, these girls will move up into the next class and I fully anticipated them being split up.  Change is good!  But when the new classes were posted yesterday at school, my heart fell to see that not only would Stella not be with these three but literally every single girl in her current class will be moving together into one room and Stella is the only girl moving into another.  She'll move with some other boys she knows (like precious Andrew!!!) but not even 1 of her "girls".  I had to hide the tears from her in the car driving home.  I can't believe I'm already feeling this way.  She's only 3.  And so this morning I found myself in the school office, fighting back my tears (again), as they addressed my concerns in a very sweet way.   I'm expecting a call later as to the reason behind the decision but heard words this morning like, "very social", "bright", blah blah blah...words that a parent wants to hear any other time...I just want to make sure she's going to be OK in other ways.  So now I find myself thinking back to her very first day when she was so shy and clinging to us and Andrew, who is so very shy himself, walked up to her and handed her a toy car.  At least he'll still be in her class to watch over her.          
{Stella + Andrew First Day of School last year}


11 comments:

Kat said...

oh, blessings for your sweet Mama heart. It will all turn out just fine! I know that feeling all too well...

The enchanted home said...

You know what? I give you a lot of credit for speaking your mind and going on a limb and talking about your vulnerabilities and worries. Its refreshing. As a young mother (mid forties, hey I am a baby) but a mom of 3 semi grown boys, 21, 23 and 15...yes started really young, I have a lot of experience. And you know what? This very incident is what is going to help Stella develop into a strong minded, capable, independent thinker. She will not only make tons of new friends but am sure she will keep her old "buddies" close too. This is a time of social growth, and its a blessing in disguise. Believe me have been there, my son who plays lacrosse at a very high level made the best team tri state, but all his others made the lesser team...inside all I could think about was all those kids getting to hang out all the time while though he was on the "better team" he wasn't doing it with anyone and all the kids on that team from other schools further away. Lesson learned? My son grew at that point more than any other time, he made lots of new friends AND kept his old friends, in fact his old friends seemed to respect and look up to him more for having "branched out" I can almost bet this will happen with Stella too. Good luck, being a mom is a rollercoaster so buckle up, its a fun whip lashing but up and down ride!!

Jennifer said...

Oh Tiff I hear your worry. I am already anticipating my big boy going into 1st grade and being sad that he's not with all of his friends. Of course they will all be fine - but it's our job to worry about them. I'm sure Miss Stella will make a whole slew of new friends and come out on top especially if she's anything like her Mama -which I'm sure she is! xo

Farmchick said...

It is hard being a mom. Very hard I think. Good for you for at least voicing your concerns.

Your Southern Peach said...

I know how hard this is but be sure that she will make new friends and it will most likely build her confidence in the long run. It's nice knowing our kids have their "comfort zone" when they're away from us but they are so resilient and brave little souls.

I'm always so touched when we go out in public places how children are so accepting of each other and don't think twice about approaching one another to play in a completely foreign environment.

Thinking of you and hoping for a wonderful school year for Stella.

Hugs,

Amy

Susie @ Maddie's Nest said...

Ok, I feel for you. Maddie's school called me last week and said we got off the waitlist for our preferred days.....but once I found out her little best friend was in her current class I left well enough along. Truth be told at this age they are so adaptable but I totally get your aingst. Hang in there!

JMW said...

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear this - I can imagine I would feel the very same way. Good for you for speaking up and having the school explain their reasonings behind it. I truly believe, though, that all things happen for a reason. Stella will thrive! But, it's hardest on us mommies, isn't it? :)

pve design said...

As our twin sons are about to head off to college, I am holding back the tears and also know that my "Mommy" job (although is never done), makes it harder for me to know that I will not be there to navigate life. We all have lessons. I know they will learn about life, love, and it will all be fine.
All the little lessons do happen for a reason and they are hard to swallow for us Momma's who gather the worms and bring them to the nest. Your little birdie will fly, flap and spread her wings just fine.
Smile and love her.
pve

Mo Pie, Please said...

Oh goodness! Since everyone has gone back to school, I've heard so many stories that make my heart hang low. My oldest niece is 11 and just started 6th grade. I'm so afraid for her - something I've never really felt before. She's got excema and asthma and allergies galore - all for the subject of ridicule. She's a strong girl but girls in middle school are mean, so I worry. And I'm only her aunt! Plus, she told me yesterday that she walked down the wrong side of the hall and bumped into a mean 8th grader who yelled, "GET OUT OF MY WAY, 6TH GRADER!". Poor thing! But thank goodness Stella has Andrew - who looks pretty darn adorable!

Tessa said...

I'm in the mall, hanging outside a Lego store while Andrew spends some bday money that is quickly burning a hole in his pocket, and reading this brought tears to my eyes. I know this feeling. I know it well. That need to protect their little hearts. Knowing they are going to break no matter how hard we love them. And you know what? She will be just fine, better than just fine. At age 3 she doesn't know all you know about life, for her new friendships form so quickly, girls are not yet catty to each other, and no one is fighting over boys. big mama hugs coming ur way!! Xoxo

Holli said...

Oh no! Poor little girl... I can definitely feel your heartbreak for her in this post... she'll find new friends though and eventually they'll all meet up again in middle school hopefully! doesn't make it any easier though huh? :(